drifting & sailing or, curiosity & discipline
For those of you who have been accompanying me and this newsletter from the start, I wanted to say thank you! You'll see we have a new format, and it's public now. I still look forward to our emails back and forth and the conversations that arise.
Hi friend,
This is a beginning for some and a continuation for others. It's a bit of both for me. Much has happened since my last letter - namely, I've had a baby girl!
My first kid. I'm still learning what being a father entails, and I'm sure that notion will stick around. Though, it's been a natural change for me. It feels right.
I also finally finished my first product! Long time coming. I use 'finished' quite lightly here, as I already have improvements I want to make and such. And note, I did not use 'launched' or 'released' - it's an Obsidian plugin, so I'm in the middle of their submission & approval process. There's a lot to talk about here, it's a conversation for a future letter. But I've learned much from the last 1% of this project, and this submission process alone. To be honest, I'm not sure what's in store for the tool.
If you want a little peek at what it can do (and the topic I'm exploring today):
That hit me this morning because one of the many challenges I've faced since going independent is knowing what to work on. What's the correct use of my limited time? What's the most important thing to work on today? What will actually move me in the right direction?
If you didn't notice, I can carry a lot of self-pressure.
I'm a work in progress!
I've spent many years improving my discipline. My work habits. My focus.
Through this rigidity I've lost some of the energy, curiosity, and spark that drove me to this independent path to begin with.
Perhaps lost isn't the right word, rather, I locked it away and threw the key somewhere past an imaginary milestone.
It's been hard for me to justify following threads that make me feel alive (h/t
), when they don't look like the most important thing.It's mostly guilt. The feeling I haven't yet 'earned' the right to explore freely.
But the truth is, the meaningful work I want to produce and put out into the world, the things that only I can make or say, can only come from following what's interesting to me.
Don't get me wrong, working on my plugin is me exploring that curiosity. It's a balance, between curiosity & discipline. Knowing when to drift and when to sail.
So I'm experimenting, trying to have more fun. Trying to make this journey as sustainable as I can. The longer I can keep playing this game, the better.
I'm curious how you navigate this in your own work, would love to hear from you.
take care,
slow chaz
now playing: Macroblank & slowerpace 音楽 - The Era of Information
now reading: The Timeless Way of Building, The Montessori Baby
now watching: Fat and Lazy
Congratulations on the new family and your newsletter! I would say that I'm always silently working on myself and some kind of side project but I rarely, if ever, talk about what I have going on due to a fear of how it will be received or talking about unfinished work.
I've taken some inspo from you and am trying to document my progress and share more often.
That being said, my biggest lessons are learning to give myself some grace not expect results from myself immediately and to understand the value I already have/bring. Looking for the little wins has been a great way to stay consistent in my world.